Embracing Conflict
Most people get very uneasy with the thought of conflict. Fights, feuds, disagreements, shouting matches, even the cold shoulder; we do not greet them with joy. We want people to ‘get along’ and ‘make nice’, even if it means denying or avoiding what’s really going on.
Put in a position where we feel that we must do something we often resort to some accepted form of intervention – demote, transfer, fire, or separate and divorce to name a few. Resolving the source of the conflict appears to be too complicated or time consuming so we simply move it on and hope that is the end of it.
In all meaningful relationships denial and avoidance of conflict simply drive things underground only to have them re-emerge in some harder to identify form (passive-aggressive, obstructionist, etc). The drawback to all the avoiding tactics is that there are no inner lessons learned.
Conflict, stripped of the emotional charge, is just another piece of feedback in life and like it or not our best learning comes when we face what is uncomfortable.
Conflict is a signal. It is trying to draw our attention to something; often a blindness we have toward other perspectives or perhaps an aspect of our current life situation that is out of harmony. Conflict is valuable information!
It is possible to see the conflicts in your life as blessings. Each conflict is an opportunity to gain greater insight into who you are, who the ‘other’ is, and who is really driving your bus.
Organizationally, conflict can show you where the next level of change is waiting to occur.
I enjoy working with clients to design engagements that address both current situations and long-term goals. Together we create an environment of safety, respect and openness for investigating the true nature of conflict, discovering the creative potential in conflict and emerging with realistic resolutions.
We may convene in pairs, in small groups, or in a larger format: the work can involve elements of dialogue, café-style meetings, art, movement and music. Where it is useful educational components such as effective communication and increased self-awareness can be developed and transferred to the organizations internal resources.
In addition to being a certified mediator and large group facilitator, I bring more than 25 years experience working as a project manager in a highly unionized, multi-disciplinary field. I have a profound appreciation for all the ways we humans find to bring ourselves to greater consciousness.
